Contemplating Her Cycle
by breather89
Summary: As the Doctor is held prisoner by an Ice Warrior, she wonders if her companions were ever this clumsy. As she contemplates, she begins to see that her regenerations appear to be repeating themselves.


"Doctor!" the voice sounded through the loudspeakers on the Ice Warriors' ship, "If you do not come to the cockpit by sunrise, your companion won't see it!"

As soon as the warrior looked to the cameras, he saw three people running down one of the corridors, along with the pull-along box with the Earth monarch inside, before turning to look at his prize. Caught by the main controls, he had ambushed her from behind and gave her an injection to paralyze her.

Looking at the cameras, smiling at whom he presumed was the Doctor fumbling with a keypad, the Ice Warrior turned to see the woman sat on the adjoining chair, her blonde hair tumbling over her eyes as she stared lifelessly.

But all the Doctor was thinking was, _Do my friends always go through this?_

She knew she should have had the screwdriver with her. But she had given it to Graham when he was going round to the hull and had to loosen a panel. Then again, she might have the element of surprise, whenever she would have the ability to move back.

 _Were any of my friends this clumsy?_ She thought. _Maybe Jo. And maybe Rose._

She thought about the two of them and what they would do to try and get out of this situation. Smiling inwardly to herself, she remembered when she had met them.

Having encountered the Time Lords and been exiled, he had been made to stay on Earth. U.N.I.T had been extremely grateful for his help and had certainly accepted him in. Sure, the Doctor had been miserable about the fact that he wasn't able to fly anywhere, but things were shaping up with Liz Shaw as his assistant.

Suddenly, being surrounded by people who were helping him, and vice versa, things weren't as black and white any more.

But Liz had gone and Jo had come to help him. The Doctor smiled inwardly as she remembered Jo. An eager, kind, wide-eyed, nineteen-year-old blonde with a sense of curiosity, they had first fought the Autons before he had gotten to know her properly.

The Daleks had returned, after a long time. And he had fought them.

They had seen large, green monsters (Silurians) and on a rare occasion that they had left Earth, they had been involved with a murder investigation, along with the future of a planet, when they had visited Peladon.

Of course, it wasn't just Jo, his little escapologist, who had been so helpful to him during that time in exile. The Brigadier had been in charge of everything and his contacts through U.N.I.T meant that the Doctor's abilities to explore expanded to some degree.

Now thinking about Rose, the Doctor thought about her curiosity, her kindness, her wide-eyed, blonde face. At only nineteen when she had started flying with him, they had met when the Doctor was fighting the Autons. It was only when they flew away that the Doctor started to know her properly.

The Daleks had returned, after he had presumed them dead. And he had fought them.

They had seen large, green monsters (Slitheen) and on a rare occasion that they had left Earth itself, they had been involved with a murder investigation, as they witnessed the end of a planet, in this case Earth.

Of course, his mournful and perhaps aggressive personality hadn't just been soothed by Rose. Jack had been with him as well. The Doctor hadn't seen Jack very much while he worked with Torchwood, but it seemed that his contacts through Torchwood meant that they were able to explore alien threat in Britain.

And of course, those regenerations had been painful. All regenerations were painful, of course, but those incarnations died of ingesting a horrific substance, particularly radiation after leaving the planet of spiders, and when he had absorbed the Time Vortex when he had saved Rose's life.

She remembered those deaths well.

Sarah had been pleading in the U.N.I.T building, while Rose had stood some way off and watched in anxiety.

He had regenerated into a character that had a fondness for that individual companion. Yes, Rose had quite a bit in common with Sarah, too.

Some of his first year in those bodies had involved travelling with Sarah and Rose, respectively. A man had also been with them during that first year; Harry Sullivan and Mickey Smith. Oddly enough, the Doctor thought now, those two guys couldn't be more different.

The Doctor had regretted not showing his feelings for Sarah, before she had been forced to leave. He had assumed that she could hide them as well, but when he had returned, many incarnations later, he found her miserable and lonely, never having married since she had waited for him.

He thought he had learnt when he had been with Rose. However, he hadn't been able to express himself, before his blonde friend – no, she was more than a friend – had gone off into another universe.

Of course, he had had feisty companions in those incarnations, too. Brunette Leela had been stubborn, questioning, able to look after herself if she needed to. Brunette Martha had too been stubborn, questioning, able to look after herself if she needed to.

Both had said their farewells after an intense encounter with Time Lords, now she thought about it. They'd also left because their emotions – both concerning love and Gallifreyans – had been too much for them.

But the Doctor had to admit, they had fought, physically and mentally, and they fought hard.

Romana and Donna, on the other hand, had both been the sort of woman that had let the Doctor know that she was their equal. Loud-mouthed, determined, they had been a perfect match (if not romantically) for him.

K-9 had also cropped up in those incarnations. A robot dog would be useful on some occasions, but getting stuck in mud or quicksand had proved an obstacle.

K-9 was with Sarah, now that she thought about it. From the sounds of it, the sort of monsters Sarah fought were similar to the ones she had seen when they travelled together. At least that meant she would defeat them easily.

Back to Romana. He thought he had learnt about controlling his emotions. However, he hadn't been able to express himself, before his blonde friend – no, she was more than a friend – had gone off into another universe.

The Master had come back from the dead, the Doctor remembered. A desperate, degrading husk who yearned for a body. Trying to control a planet close to the Doctor's hearts, the Master had fallen far.

But sadly, it had not been enough, with the Doctor's regeneration caused by the Master.

The Doctor's next bodies were younger, a little fitter, with friends who had instantly come to help him when he was in pain and confusion.

 _Tegan_ , she thought, _and Amy_.

Energetic, long-legged, ordinary women with a different accent from other companions – and later dead relatives – their second adventure with them had included travelling around a spaceship and they had been taunted inside their heads by a villain without a physical form – the Mara and the Dream Lord.

Of course, they didn't travel alone. Nyssa and Adric – later Turlough – had been with the Doctor and Tegan, while Rory and River had accompanied the Doctor and Amy.

The Black Guardian had been a constant source of frustration, although the Doctor hadn't liked to show it. They had sent Turlough to kill him, the Doctor remembered well.

But given the choice, Turlough had made the right one, though memories concerning the Black Guardian had certainly frightened him.

River, Melody Pond, had been sent to kill the Doctor. Sent by the Silence, a constant source of frustration, although the Doctor hadn't liked to show it.

But given the right choice, River had made the right one, though memories concerning the Silence had certainly frightened her.

The TARDIS had been rather full, now that the Doctor thought about it.

As she began to stir slightly, the Doctor lifted her head as the Ice Warrior looked back.

"I see you are awake," he muttered, "the Doctor has still not arrived. You should consider yourself unfortunate."

"He'll come," the Doctor played along with the unwanted deception, "he always saves me." She gave a little whine as she did this. The Ice Warrior sneered and turned his back.

 _I sound like Peri_ , she told herself.

Now Peri, she had been a change from other companions. A pretty, brunette young woman who had seen his regeneration inside his TARDIS, he heard her begging as he hallucinated his deceased companion Adric, as well as glimpsing the others with a possible physic link.

She had seen him as he changed from a carefree young man into a grumpy, snappy older man. Who sadly had tried strangling her. But Peri stayed nevertheless, trying her best to make this Doctor see reason.

When the Doctor first saw the new face in a mirror, he considered the familiarity of it. He had seen this face before, on the Gallifreyan Commander Maxil. Perhaps he was trying to subconsciously say that he needed to be a fighter.

Coming across the Rani in this incarnation, the Time Lady had been a worthy foe. There had been a nasty encounter with the Cybermen in 1985 and Peri had seen him through the whole thing.

He knew that she was supposed to be with him for three months, but that had somehow become years. He had definitely noticed her body becoming physically older, evidenced during a scan.

He would have hoped to spend the rest of her life travelling, but when the Time Lords took him during an encounter where her life was in danger, he had failed to save her.

Or that he been what he had thought at the time.

Furious with the Time Lords for what they did, he had entered the Matrix and did his best to stop the Valeyard.

Then Peri was shown to have lived. She was spending the reminder of her days with Yrcanos, as his queen.

Whether that was better than death, the Doctor did not know.

She still couldn't move anything below her shoulders. The Doctor wondered if her trick was working. It hadn't worked very well when Clara had tried to pretend she was him.

Clara had been very different from other companions as well. His brunette Clara had seen him in the TARDIS, while he had regenerated from the man she knew into a grumpy, snappy old man. She had tried to make him see reason, she really had.

When the Doctor had first seen his new face, he didn't know where he had seen it before. It wasn't until much later that he had recognized it as Caeccilius', when he had saved him and his family during Pompeii. He had been subconsciously trying to say to himself that he needed to save whoever he could, to be a good man.

Coming across Missy in this incarnation, the Time Lady had been a worthy foe. There had been a nasty encounter with the Cybermen in 2014 and Clara had seen him through the whole thing.

He would have hoped to spend the rest of her life travelling, but when the Time Lords took him during an encounter where her life was in danger, he had failed to save her.

Or that he been what he had thought at the time.

Clara was shown to have survived, which the Doctor found out during a nasty incident with the High Council of Gallifrey. Clara was going to spend the reminder of her days with Ashildr.

Whether that was better than death, the Doctor did not know.

Looking up at the screens, the Doctor saw her companions doing their best to open another door. _Come on!_ The Doctor groaned to herself, _Not even Mel was this incompetent!_

Mel had been a rather loud woman, the Doctor remembered, hailing from the West Country and her frizzy hair bouncing around when she smiled, her unisex name.

Mel had also been bossy. She had tried to make the Doctor exercise and drink carrot juice. She had told him that this was good for him and the Doctor had always moaned. The Doctor remembered when Mel had come across something from 1963, to which the Doctor had said it was before she was born and could she put that back as it was an antique.

Mel had flown off with Sabalom Glitz, the Doctor recalled. He still missed her. But from what he heard, she had been doing well.

Bill had also been smiley, the Doctor remembered. Hailing from the West Country and her frizzy hair bouncing around, her unisex name, she had tried making chips for him.

Nardole had also been bossy. He had said he was doing what was best for the Doctor, but the Doctor only moaned.

Bill had flown off with Heather, the Doctor recalled. He still missed her. But from what he heard, she had been doing well.

The Doctor now thought about the incarnation that had said farewell to Melanie Bush. Frankly, compared to her incarnation now, they couldn't be more different.

It wasn't just because she had changed gender. She was taller, blonder, smiled more often.

As the Doctor heard Ryan outside, her hearts leapt as she realised that they'd finally arrived and would probably help. Maybe. She _had_ spoken to Ryan that morning when he came across something from 1989 and she had said that it was from before his time and to put that back as it was an antique.

"Doctor," the Ice Warrior snarled, opening the door from the console and glaring towards Graham, "your companion has been waiting."

He turned around the chair that the Doctor sat in. She smiled at them, mouthing, 'play along'.

Then she looked up at the Ice Warrior. "See? I _told_ you he'd come. He always does. You're just a big, ugly, scaly thing!"

The Ice Warrior ignored her, barking at Graham, "Here, now!"

Graham gingerly stepped forward as Ryan and Yasmin pushed forward the Earth monarch. Graham swallowed as he looked up into the Ice Warrior's eyes. "I think I'd like to suggest a prisoner exchange." It sounded more of a question than any actual statement.

The Ice Warrior snorted. "You get softer each regeneration, Doctor. You always come to save your friends. You never think about being a lone wolf. You just give in when they need saving."

The Doctor, now starting to creep her right hand along the arm of her chair, locked eyes with Yasmin, who had been holding the sonic screwdriver. The Doctor mimed holding it with her hand, then mouthed 'five'.

The screwdriver, which had been on setting five to unlock the Earth monarch's box, was held out towards the box. The Doctor nodded and as the door opened, letting out the Earth monarch, who was now mutated with twenty tentacles, six sets of claws and twelve tails from twelve different species.

The Earth monarch growled and leapt towards the Ice Warrior, as Graham and Ryan lifted up the Doctor on either side.

"Thanks, guys," she breathed, as the four of them exited quickly, with the Earth monarch ripping at the Ice Warrior's armour.


End file.
